Claudia Turner - Conversations since I began dating myself

Claudia Turner is from Jackson, WY, currently lives in Taos, NM. Got MFA from San Francisco Art Institute and BA in literature and film from University of Oregon. She had written a book and articles for magazines and newspapers. Currently works on a personal project. Loves to travel, cook, run and create. Read “Brave New World” in high school and it’s still one of her favorite books. In fact maybe she’ll read it again right now.



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Conversations since I began dating myself

me: you're making me nervousme: doesn't everything make you nervous

me: so what
me: do you want to get ice cream?

me: I'd love to

me: here let me get the door

me: oh thank you

me: you look stunning

me: blush stop it
me: why're you so weird?

me: why're you talking to me?
me: being sweet

me: what's this all about?
me: it's your day off, ready to do something fun?

me: no
me: I just want someone who loves me unconditionally every day for the rest of my life 

me: that is utterly ridiculous
me: you worry too much 

me: no I don't, why do you think that? what did I say for you to think that? what does that mean anyway? what
me: I've never been on a hot air balloon 

me: who cares why are you talking?
me: how are you?

me: I'm sick of talking about myself
me: I'm kind of tired, tomorrow?

me: hmm idk I'm probably tired tomorrow
me: very serious all the time

me: my feet smell like pineapple. here, smell.
me: it hurts my feelings 

me: what?

me: everything
me: does something

me: ugh what a dork, stop

me: does something else

me: omg you're the worst
me: I'm sorry I've flirted with all of your friends at some point 

me: me too
me: I like you 

me [an hour later]: jk I don't like you i never liked you liking you would be fucking stupid
me: tell me i'm pretty

me: I'd fuck you